A very long time ago, I became single. I was excited about the choice but also expected it would end up biting me in the ass. I expected a price to be paid.

And I was right;
Just not the price I anticipated.

Because couples can share burdens, decrease risks and pool resources.
One example is how medical treatment often requires someone to drive you and also to be the first line of emotional support as well as the first caregiver.
If you are single you seriously need to rethink your strategy here, since every medical visit means you have to rely on your social network, which can strain friendships and family bonds.

Being alone at gatherings or the existential idea of aging without next of kin, which were the abstract ideas I associated with being single, are not the first thing you should worry about.
It’s the day to day availability of someone who can step in and help you, either practically or just the soothing effect of having someone around.
My partner and me dropped on the couch every evening, with tea, cookies and cats. I have no memory of anything earth shattering or important happening there, yet it was so nourishing.

My old life dropping away took almost two decades.
And now I can truly say I am alone.
All the soft-landing support networks have become either less available, or there is a more narrowed down understanding of what we share.

So I am now the single I set out to be all those years ago.
Including the price I pay for that.
Yet I do not regret any of it.
The choice to label myself as solitary, like a tiger, was life changing and liberating.
And this year, when the edges of consequence have become razor sharp, has been the most creative by far.

When I was still with my partner I had no creativity to speak of.
Something was missing but it wasn’t the new love life as a single, that would prove to change my world;
It was creating.

The biggest thrill of being single is to have art at the center of your life.

Art is The One.

~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
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