Catacombe

rewild yourself

Release the cuffs, cut the chains
And find yourself in freedom

Return to nature’s Law
—

I was not ready, that much was clear. It was a minor medical issue that I could solve myself as a kid, when I still lived in Africa and none of us told our parents what we were up to.

We were aware when we were stretching the limits of what was allowed, and when we were ignoring what we were told.

And although the dangers we kids were warned against were more real there, in Africa, than any of us would have to face in our later lives;
We ignored them.

And in their own way, our parents did the same.
Their behavior did not put them at risk of being bitten by snakes or scorpions, but they had left their social circles behind.
And with it, they left its rules.

The adults were more empowered, more at ease.

But back in the Netherlands, without full understanding of what we had gained there, of course we relapsed a bit.
The adults gave up their sovereignty, becoming more sensitive to what was expected.
The kids became less brazen, less wild.

Yet I think it is that memory of childhood years abroad, that has determined my strategy of survival.
More than being hung up on being saved physically, staying autonomous is my priority.

I am not interested in surviving if it means I don’t have authority over my own life.
And yes, I’ve calculated this will probably cost me years even if we don’t have a zombie apocalypse, and I’m fine with that.

Because of the minor medical issue, I had to face that I had actually regressed, and was now less self-reliant, no longer used to handling my own body.

But trust me, we are still capable Rock Star.
It was just our surroundings, it fucked with your mind.

Get out and save your spirit.

~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

After a long period of silence, which we should probably erase, my Rock Star work is back!
Raw, unfiltered, and hopefully better than before.
But let’s keep it at “back”, for now.

Subscribe to this blog you are now reading, to receive these posts.
(Posts only. No commercial offers are being sent out.)

I’m recording for this channel again
😎-> https://www.youtube.com/@RockStarYoga

about this series

Welcome back to What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today!
In May 2026 I wrapped up this website and The New Rock Star YouTube channel, but a Rock Star brought me back!
So let’s rock.

painters paint get to work

Quoted from an Instagram video by @samandrewsart watched by almost half a million people.

——

Videos or writing?
English or Dutch?
This account or another?
Content or that manuscript that has stayed unpublished for years?

Over the years deciding what to create has become more difficult, not less.
With me it doesn’t seem to be about “kill your darlings”, a popular reference to the process of having to delete parts when writing a book;
But about the painful choice which darlings to create in the first place.

There is not enough time to do it all, and the only thing that could make the pain of everything I did not create bearable, is to know I at least chose consciously.
And wisely.

There seem to be just too many variables, I have too many agendas.
Longterm versus shortterm.
Endgame versus longterm (yes, those are two different things to me!).
The powerful communication of video and its alluring quality of documenting who I am right now;
Versus writing, which I absolutely love doing and with blogposts that always come out well, and rarely take up more time than budgeted.

The weight of the video work seems to get more unacceptable as time moves on.
But, you guessed it, so does the importance I attribute to them. It seems unthinkable to not make videos.

The quote opening this post, is from an Instagram video.
Its lesson is that when you are a creative, you need to be engaged with your art, for your own mental health alone.

And although the story does not speak about that painter having to choose between painting or sculpting;
And not between painting or making a video about painting;
Maybe it doesn’t have to.

A painter paints.
So?
A writer writes.

I know an illustrator who refuses to use an eraser because she is an illustrator not an eraser.

So do that one thing you actually are.
The rest is just you erasing.

~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

After a long period of silence, which we should probably erase, my Rock Star work is back!
Raw, unfiltered, and hopefully better than before.
But let’s keep it at “back”, for now.

Subscribe to this blog you are now reading, to receive these posts.
(Posts only. No commercial offers are being sent out.)

I’m recording for this channel again
😎-> https://www.youtube.com/@RockStarYoga

about this series

Welcome back to What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today!
In May 2026 I wrapped up this website and The New Rock Star YouTube channel, but a Rock Star brought me back!
So let’s rock.

without rock it’s a star

Your boundaries, your frame, your distance, the long wait before you commit
And the ceremonial pause before you say anything
If, you say anything

It is your gold, and its value is rising every day

Keep it.

——

“Three types of Rock Stars; Which one are you?” ;
“Become a Rock Star by rocking these three things” ;
“What it really takes to rock your life” 

Never wrote any of those types of posts.
And that’s not because I am a gatekeeping asshole – which I may very well still be.
But it’s because I do not want to be part of that decision.

You being a Rock Star has to be your own soul led path, that has already happened without me putting any ideas into your head.

And at the risk of sounding sadistic, I’d rather have you crippled with anxiety throwing up in the toilet bowl and then finding my posts, suddenly seeing an inkling of hope that there is a reason you broke down so violently, than pretending this is going to be a self-improvement journey of sorts.

The term Rock Star means you are hard where others are permeable.
It means you hold, where others leak.
You can stand the heat, the stage and the spotlight, and you will still breathe on the top of the mountain where the air is thin.

Not because you were concerned with improving yourself but because from where you came, these were required for survival.
Whether you never belonged or went through an irreversible change is no longer relevant;
You are here now, and there is no going back.

By the time you read this and recognize yourself, you have already gone through the largest part of it or completed it.

If we’d had the choice we’d be just stars.
Shining brightly, lighting up the night’s sky!
Be beacons of hope, and guide travelers home safely.

But we are not stars; We are rock.
And the rock part always comes first.

It is what defines you.

~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

After a very Rock Star-Fähig silent time 😉 my Rock Star work is back!
Raw, unfiltered, and hopefully better than before.
But let’s keep it at “back”, for now.

Subscribe to this blog you are now reading, to receive these posts.
(Posts only. No commercial offers are being sent out.)

And PS this channel reboots soon
😎-> https://www.youtube.com/@RockStarYoga

about this series

Welcome back to What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today!
In May 2026 I wrapped up this website and The New Rock Star YouTube channel, but a Rock Star brought me back!
So let’s rock.

transmute your shame

The tie wraps of human psychology, no one escapes from.
To stop falling victim, start with one thing;
Don’t give them your fucking wrists.

If that failed?
Get them off.
—
I’m going to look up if it has a name. I do know shame has become more acknowledged.
Like: Someone is shamed for something.

Another modern term is the classification debilitating shame.
Explaining that even if we think shame is a functional or necessary emotion (which I personally don’t believe) then it is still only acceptable to certain levels and misses the mark when overdone.
The adjective “debilitating” also indicates that healthy shame (again, something I would argue does not exist) is not supposed to take you out or immobilize you.

But is there a line of therapy or professional field aimed at converting or treating shame?
I don’t know, I’ll have a look. Brb.

Yes, I see there are different modalities targeted at treating shame. They revolve around self-soothing, connection with others, emotions, the body, and a few more.

Which is not what I have to share.
My point today is a different one;
To recognize the tremendous power it holds and to harvest it.

I recently realized all famous women I’ve admired had their bodies and/or their deepest (naked) thoughts exposed publicly.
They were all disrespected.
And they all alchemized it, they integrated it.

Shame can be internal too. Then it has to do with you having internalized social standards.
The voice in your own head is shaming you.

But whatever the context, shame is still the same:
It is a breach of a social construct.

Regardless if you want to go as far as cutting yourself free from these social constructs, a word of caution;
Any topic you feel shame around is where you’re not yet ready to integrate and alchemize.

Which is not just a weak spot in your mental health security;
You’re leaving money on the table.

~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

After a shamelessly silent time 😉 my Rock Star work is back!
Raw, unfiltered, and hopefully better than before.
But let’s keep it at “back”, for now.

Subscribe to this blog, to receive these posts.

And PS this channel reboots soon
😎-> https://www.youtube.com/@RockStarYoga

about this series

Welcome back to What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today!
In May 2026 I wrapped up this website and The New Rock Star YouTube channel, but a Rock Star brought me back!
So let’s rock.

you need privacy

Not as a luxury, a nice to have, an endgame, a negotiable.

But a literal need that comes before Wifi, heating or running water.

—
“A Scorpio doesn’t want land — they want a perimeter.”
@scorpiomindsx
on 26 Aug 2026

The Netherlands has a housing problem. Now to be honest, I think there has never not been a housing problem.
It’s like a seven-headed beast.

But from what I understood, one of the most pesky causes of the housing crisis is because the true value of owning land (not the real estate itself) is not being properly taxed.

This land-based inequality is still very much under the radar, as opposed to favorable tax laws for Dutch home owners, which is something that does come up regularly in Dutch discussions.

As I have come to understand it, as someone interested in this topic casually at best.

However what I have studied far more extensively is social architecture and emotional labor.
A topic where proximity plays a key role.
Placing that layer on top of the housing crisis provides a more complete view of what is actually at stake here.
Because not having your own space means having to work harder, socially speaking.
You are more easily accessible to other people, but these people can also become a witness to your actions and are possibly even affected by them.
Your risk taking is now their liability.

“Privacy” is merely one element, but it symbolizes broader autonomy and how much space you have to move, without involuntarily affecting others.

They say: “Space is your most expensive furniture.”
Which was never a cue not to strive for space.
It was code, that it’s the only thing worth wanting.

After which everything else will fall into place.

~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

After a silent and very private time 😉 my Rock Star work is back!
Raw, unfiltered, and hopefully better than before.
But let’s keep it at “back”, for now.

Subscribe to this blog, to receive these posts.

And PS the absolute most private place to follow me is here
😎-> https://www.youtube.com/@RockStarYoga

about this series

Welcome back to What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today!
In May 2026 I wrapped up this website and The New Rock Star YouTube channel, but a Rock Star brought me back!
So let’s rock.

a Rock Star called me back

Not with his eyes
Not with his message
Not with his work

But because he appeared when I walked away.

—-

1. a big car
2. parked within 2 foot of your driving seat door
3. with me (a woman) seated at the passenger seat looking through the window if you’re gonna be okay wiggling your way into your vehicle

One out of these three would have been enough to invoke a response but he didn’t give anything.

He opened his door, careful not to let it touch ours.
Adamant not to make eye contact, and that’s when I knew. I just couldn’t believe it.
I kept staring.
Intently.
Show me your eyes!
When I could have looked at his hands and I would have recognized them out of a thousand others.

He did not look up.

Gracefully, he let himself slid onto the driver seat, closed the door without any hard sound or aggression, and maneuvered the car out of the busy gasstation, unfazed by the difficult to oversee situation.

Leaving me baffled, at what I just witnessed.
“I just saw [X]”
I said to my friend when he returned.
And I explained how I had known it was him.

Not the way he looked but the way he behaved.

And I know I owe you his name, and you have every right to be angry with me for not sharing.
It’s like when you’re in love:
The moment you share, something changes.

I don’t want this to change.
I want this to be my personal intimate moment.
Even though the story and its meaning have gotten louder and louder. And I now understand this was a lifechanging experience.
The start of a brand new era…
What had happened was nothing short to being called out.

In the only way it knew I would notice, pay attention, and listen, the Universe said something like:

SUZANNE BEENACKERS!
GET BACK TO YOUR ROCK STAR WORK AND STOP WITH THE FACELESS YOGA CHANNEL MODESTY FUCK WHATEVER!

Oh.
Okay.

Well, if you say so.

~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

We’re back!
Raw, unfiltered, and hopefully better than before.
But let’s keep it at “back”, for now.

And despite the Universe not being a fan, this one will still up too!
😊 -> https://www.youtube.com/@RockStarYoga

about this series

Welcome back to What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today!
In May 2026 I wrapped up this website and The New Rock Star YouTube channel, but a Rock Star brought me back!
So let’s rock.

idk

“I don’t know”
Those words are your friend.

Because it’s not in the hows, the 5 step plan, or the knowing and the understanding of the thing that makes it move, or holds it together.

It’s you breathing life into it.
—
I have seen the movie Project Hail Mary twice, and watched its runtime worth in YouTube videos as well.
They go deeper into the film’s success and what it tells about friendship.
Because the human carrying this film develops a friendship with an alien.

Together, they save both their worlds.

The human is a scientist-turned-school teacher Ryland Grace, a.k.a. “Grace” played by a disarming Ryan Gosling.
The alien looks like a five-legged spider made out of rocks.

Because Grace cannot understand Rocky, Grace gives him a voice using a computer.

“Rocky like.”

Now Rocky can talk, and we can hear what he has to say.

“Rocky Grace save stars.”

Which of course, is easier said than done. Back on earth, the mission leader had admitted it was a long shot but also said to Grace that he was smart.
“You’ll figure it out.”

Or, as Rocky would say:
“Words of encouragement.”

Project Hail Mary describes how waking-up lightyears away from home;
Having been sent against your will;
And with a challenging mission;
Can turn into the best thing that ever happened to you.

Because you meet an alien who turns out to be the best friend you ever had
<STATEMENT>

Not despite these challenging conditions;
But because of it!

“Save Earth. Save Erid,” Rocky writes on a chalkboard for Grace, right before he loses consciousness.

Had Grace still had other scientists who could have helped him?
Or had Rocky still been part of the large Erid mission crew, that originally populated his spaceship?
None of this would have happened.

But now, Rocky sets up his workshop right next to Grace’s laboratory.
Sure, they find the answers and build the solutions they need, yes.

But more than that, they build one hell of a sturdy, cross-galactic, inter-species friendship.

“Amaze. Amaze.”

~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

After 3,5 years, I am closing Catacombe, making this the final episode of What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today.
I will be back one more time, with a goodbye video, on Monday 25 May 2026.
It will be posted on this blog.

Want to stay connected?
All my international work will keep going out on SUBSTACK
So subscribe there, and stay in touch!