This post was written Wednesday 31st 2025, on the first morning I have quit being online, in the same way I once quit smoking.
Restless, resentful, and determined to do whatever it takes, because I’m not going through this again.

Unfortunately though, I do not possess the powerful Make or Break Energy which I had back then.
I did not wake up late and hungover after a night of smoking in a venue full of smoke and loud conversations.

But I did wake up groggy, as is pretty much standard since 2020.
And I knew exactly who to blame:
YouTube on my phone.

Decades later “Just one more cigarette” had mutated into “Just one more YouTube video”
And that’s after cancelling evening computer hours, and not having had any subscription to streaming services, for years.

YouTube, the last of my old online addictions, had to go.

And not just because I no longer want to wake up groggy.
I’m also curious if I can regain my 20th century consciousness?
And what will happen if I do?

I predict life will be so colorful, so rich, so interesting.

There’s a lot to do about the concept of hyperreality where AI makes everything look more pretty.

But I think hyperreality is what I will see once my mind is no longer tied to my phone.
And I think it will go beyond this dimension too.

I don’t consider myself psychic, but by now (10 years into our hyper-connected phone era?) I’m definitely curious what I will be able to pick up on, after I’ve stopped numbing myself with YouTube.

What appears once the digital noise has stopped?
What are the messages from the universe?
Who else is there in the unseen?

I am going to rely on whatever I can pick up on in that newfound silence.
Peeking through the veil.

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~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
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