I have a guilty pleasure I never told anyone.
It’s not sexual, but it is perverted.

I love it when soft values are tied to capitalist measurements.

It is a form of modern day heresy, when what we need is more respect for what is of real value, instead of willingly contaminating it with financial language.

It started when I was introduced to the concept of Erotic Capital.
I think there was even a book with that name (just checked! true!) which acknowledged that attractiveness but also sexual experience gave you “capital”. Leverage. Bargaining chips.

It’s one of the few paths where there is still economic mobility:
You can still get doors to open, if you play your cards right.

Now obviously there’s a lot to unpack here about patriarchy and how it enforces beauty standards that suppress women and women’s engagement.
But I won’t go there.

When I write I allow myself to not try to figure out the workings of thousand year old power structures, and can even enjoy the guilty pleasures I discovered in them.

Which is that beauty and sex being capital, was gasoline on my already blazing fire.

Until I snapped out of it!
What was I thinking?!
And forgot it, until the topic resurfaced again. Under a different name, but definitely for the same game.

Sexual capital.
Creative capital.
Social capital.
Sexual Power.
The Power of Seduction by Robert Greene.

And ultimately just:
Power.

Because this had been the key:
I wanted power.

It had all started in 1992, with the movie Basic Instinct featuring Sharon Stone.

I was mesmerized by her. And wanted to know what made this woman so powerful.
Not just her estimated assets of 110 million, apparently.

And it was a lot, closer to home.

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~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
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