Category: private life

build your own church | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today 2024 10 19

Published on by Suzanne BeenackersLeave a comment

build your own church

And let it be a private matter.

Select your divine objects, build the myths, map out the regiment for this sanctuary.
What are its daily practices of wholeness and holiness?

What are the rules upon entering, and how are they enforced?

—

There is a housing crisis in The Netherlands. Like most crises it was off course manmade. Had they continued to build at the rate it was done up until 1990, and (this is where it gets hypothetical) resisted the temptation to sell real estate from public housing associations;
None of this would have happened.

Supposedly, the rise of the number of households was predicted wrongly.
But since predicting it correctly would have involved the government spending more money, instead of saving it like a wrong prediction would, I doubt it was a case of getting the numbers wrong.
And I recently read they were instantly, and in no uncertain terms, warned against the dire consequences of cutting back on building new houses, in the early 90s.
But I cannot find that link so I will just leave it at it being my own not-fact checked belief.

But it is my own not-fact checked belief our current housing shortage is a direct long term consequence of short-term thinking, and more importantly short-term cashing, dating as far back as the early 90s, and continuing to this day.

However, regardless of whose fault it is, it is a fact that a lot of people are living together who do not want to.
Couples who want to get divorced, cannot even get separated.
Students still living with their parents instead of with other students, like was the custom up until the 90s.
Young professionals still living with their parents, and young couples not being able to start their lives together.

Not to mention families who are in need of bigger homes, in order to create privacy and a livable situation where the children have a quiet room for their homework.

And so on, and so forth.

I just saw a movie about the 1930’s, which were the crisis years here, as they were in many parts of the world.
I think the word is individuation; The ability to become your own person.
You need space for that.

In a society with great shortages, people will have a hard time negotiating even the most basic boundaries, let alone feel they have space to grow.
Or, as the title suggest, to build their own church. Even if I just intended that in a metaphorical sense.

And even if we do end up on the right side of the housing shortage, or whatever crisis our country is battling, even then;
Are you actually and actively executing and enforcing who you TRULY are?!
Are you the embodiment of your TRUE values?!

And if, coming back to the title of this blogpost, you are the embodiment of somebody else’s church, somebody else’s values?
I have good news for you;
This works too.
There is no necessity to make up your own church or your own scriptures.

But the problem is, most of us have NONE!
No rulebook or concept about what our set of guiding principles actually are.
And even when we do, wouldn’t you agree we still spend way too much time taking in other people’s opinion and considering angles to problems that are for sure, not authentically ours?

We still waste time and spread ourselves thin, because we have not conceptualized it to a point where an official religion would have effortlessly guided us through.
We’re coasting, flaking, failing and at best Forest Gumping our way forward,  where religion would have us aim HIGHER.
And have given us grid.

You know I’m telling the truth here.

So we know this is not about you and me joining some church, although that is totally fine too.
But this is about taking our own life seriously.

This is about an understanding that any scripture, playbook, set of values, or any daily practice and returning ritual;
That those are when we focus our attention, create intention, infuse awareness, and that will bring it ALL to life.

The understanding that if we would be as committed as religious people;
We’d be crushing it.

So go and crush it.

Build the church that was yours to build, to live the Life that was yours to live.

Amen.

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
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To book, email me at:
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Terms and conditions at:
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Once we know we are a good fit, my price is accepted by you and you choose to make a booking;
We move.

It is possible the above story has already given you an outline of what you want to discuss.

If you think you would benefit from a broader approach, my suggestion will be to sort your story into:

1. the earthly plane
Your possessions, worldly matters, income streams, worries and responsibilities you fear you can’t meet.
A helpful term could be how do things look from the perspective of financial freedom, or worldly freedom.

2. your purpose
What is the work you love doing, what are the moments big or small, that you know you are aligned. Has God told you, what you’re here for?
This is about creative freedom, or even karmic freedom.
Are you free to do the work, that is yours?

3. your Rock Star expansion
What is the fullest expression you are here to bring?
And what are the areas you’re playing small, as if cut off from your powers?
We investigate if in those areas, the rules you play by are yours, or society’s.
“3” is related to sexual freedom.
Like anything, it is up to you if that is part of our conversation or not.

Because all three points are just a suggestion, they offer a good framework providing one hour for every topic, to go deeper looking for answers.
But the setlist is not fixed.

I have merely built the stage for us, and we have three hours.

It is up for you to take it.

————-.

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only you know where your heart lies | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today 2024 02 14 Valentine’s longread

Published on by Suzanne BeenackersLeave a comment

only you know where your heart lies

It is no small feat, to feel passion;
The unstoppable current that overflows all reason.
That in fact, overflows all that is NOT meant for you.

This power was given to you, and not to ignore it.
But to let it lead the way.

—

Valentine’s Day is a good one, isn’t it?
To share with you the power, not of undying love but of temporary passion that does not possess the unconditional characteristics as Love capital L does.
Or unconditional characteristics it should have, anyway.

Because Love should never be conditional.
With my recent breakup from my Lover (not partner!), at first I saw the fact that I still love him, and feel myself attached and bound to him -in the most visceral way- as a hindrance.
Something childish even, and definitely not a good strategy to make sure my post-50 life will have the same sexual zest, as it has had for as long as I can remember.

Judging from what I see around me, the second half seems to be dominated by stories of settling, tales of lack, and lessons of first making dating and finding a new partner the center of your very Universe and agenda, before maybe, you find someone to have a relationship with.

All things I refuse to settle for as being my story.

I’ve always had a strong sexual identity, and from when I was about 13 years old, I have fallen in love with boys and movie stars, rock stars and one tv personality.
My “practice” was being a romantic, much more than it was being sexually active.

Now that I am over 50, and I have to re-establish my sex life, still being attached to my former lover, AND ALSO refusing to settle, and refusing to invest time and money in dating, this feels like the most risky, borderline stupid thing to do at this point.

Romantic love, regardless of your age, does not fall out of the sky.
And if you’re aiming at pure passion, bypassing more subdued relationship forms, then staying emotionally attached to the lover you had, is not wise.

And yet?
Yes it is.
It is, if at the same time I can accept and even celebrate that he has moved on, and is creating his dreamlife.
Even if it is without me.

So there you have the two forces that are given to you.
TWO forces we more often than not dismiss, ignore, or talk ourselves out of:

1.the force of unconditional love

The Love, capital L, that you can still feel for someone even when they don’t “choose” you. That you can bask in the feeling of being happy for them, without needing anything back.

Never, ever, ignore a love that you can experience in this way.
And alternatively:
Never invest in any love, that requires you to get something out of it.
The only love that exists is unconditional Love. Capital L.

2.the force of passion

I define passion as a deep desire to be with someone or something, as well. For example I have a passion for Bon Jovi, so I want to listen to their concert bootlegs and write about them.
Which is also linked to my relationship with other people who like Bon Jovi. Internet allows me to share my love for Bon Jovi, which is how it multiplies.

But passion of course also refers to a physical, sexual longing. 
This too, in my opinion, was not given to you to ignore.

It’s not meant to be ignored when TWO people, feel this sexual longing for each other at exactly the same time!
I know I am ignoring an array of social taboos and financial and other pragmatic co-dependencies here–
but within the endless conversations about painful sexual experiences, non-consensual sex, and about unwanted celibacy and the tragedy of so many people not being able to enjoy sexually satisfying lives;
How can two people being head over heels in love and wanting to jump onto each other possibly be a bad thing?

How can we ever hope to say No to unhealthy relationships, to things that suck our soul out of us;
“No”, to situations that kill our personal growth and mutilate our identity;
When we do not know what Yes, means?

Never ignore things, interests, or people, that you feel passionate about.
Always respect the Yes of your heart!
As well as the Yes from the powers a bit further South.

Regardless of how much gets stirred up;
Never ignore things, interests, or people, you can give your unconditional Love to, or that you feel passionate about.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Rock Star.

.
~Suzanne

Every day, is Valentine’s Day
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THE ROCK STAR, is Catacombe’s signature 3 hour session, for those who know that even when the ultimate price must be paid for following heart and passion;
Not paying would even be more expensive.

It would cost us our life.

THE ROCK STAR is a one-time investment, and our conversation is confidential.

To book, email me at:
s_beenackers@hotmail.com

Terms and conditions at:
https://catacombenijmegen.com/terms-conditions/

Once we know we are a good fit, my price is accepted by you and you choose to make a booking;
We move.

It is possible the above story has already given you an outline of what you want to discuss.

If you think you would benefit from a broader approach, my suggestion will be to sort your story into:

1. the earthly plane
Your possessions, worldly matters, income streams, worries and responsibilities you fear you can’t meet.
A helpful term could be how do things look from the perspective of financial freedom, or worldly freedom.

2. your purpose
What is the work you love doing, what are the moments big or small, that you know you are aligned. Has God told you, what you’re here for?
This is about creative freedom, or even karmic freedom.
Are you free to do the work, that is yours?

3. your Rock Star expansion
What is the fullest expression you are here to bring?
And what are the areas you’re playing small, as if cut off from your powers?
We investigate if in those areas, the rules you play by are yours, or society’s.
“3” is related to sexual freedom.
Like anything, it is up to you if that is part of our conversation or not.

Because all three points are just a suggestion, they offer a good framework providing one hour for every topic, to go deeper looking for answers.
But the setlist is not fixed.

I have merely built the stage for us, and we have three hours.

It is up for you to take it.

.

Instagram – Twitter – Rock Star Writer Facebook – Facebook Suzanne Beenackers Schrijver – LinkedIn

tell them what you had hoped to hide | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today 2023 10 01

Published on by Suzanne BeenackersLeave a comment

tell them what you had hoped to hide

Your longing to go all-in is not going to go away.
The option to keep pretending your heart is anywhere else than where it truly is, has expired.

Communicate your availability, and offer your loved ones how you would like to be in their lives.

—

Never forget that what you’re doing; Hardly anyone is.

And what is hunting you? Haunting you, as soon as you close your eyes after yet another day where at least partially, you got involved in all kinds of things that were not THE thing?
No one, knows the demons emerging from the shadows of your tormented artist soul.

In Indian mythology, the fiercest Goddess is Kali. And the source of her power, the reason of her omnipotence, is because she devours time. With that she will ultimately eat us all.
There is no way to escape her grasp.

The Devi Mahatmya tells of Kali springing from the anger of the goddess Durga to slay the demon Raktabija (“Blood-Seed”).
During the struggle a new demon emerges from each drop of Raktabija’s blood as it hits the ground; to prevent this, Kali laps up the blood before it can reach the ground. 

source: https://www.britannica.com/topic/Kali

Kali’s long tongue is there to protect us from evil, by licking up the demon’s blood. It is not a sign she is evil.
The string of heads around her neck, are the heads of the demons she slayed, because she was born wild and enraged.
Others say the heads symbolize the false identities we adopt, in order to protect our egos. And that it is our job to liberate ourselves from this false sense of Self.

Unleash your wild and enraged part, to slay the build-up of pretend Selfs.
Lick the blood before it touches the ground, to prevent more harm from being done, and remember;
Only your inner-Kali has the tongue to prevent new demonic spawn.

Let her do the work of purifying who you are and protecting what you love.

..
~Suzanne

THE ROCK STAR, is Catacombe’s signature 3 hour session.
We meet each other on all levels of Life, but focus on the ones where we are not met by society.
The ones we have to claim as ours, knowing they are our responsibility.

Where we no longer have the luxury of Not-choosing, because when our time has come we need the peace of mind that we gave it our all.
And that we were able to communicate that, clearly.

That our life was a worthy one, because we lived it on purpose.

THE ROCK STAR is a one-time investment, and our conversation is confidential.

To book, email me at:
s_beenackers@hotmail.com

Terms and conditions at:
https://catacombenijmegen.com/terms-conditions/

Once we know we are a good fit, my price is accepted by you and you choose to make a booking;
We move.

It is possible the above story has already given you an outline of what you want to discuss.

If you think you would benefit from a broader approach, my suggestion will be to sort your story into:

1. the earthly plane
Your possessions, worldly matters, income streams, worries and responsibilities you fear you can’t meet.
A helpful term could be how do things look from the perspective of financial freedom, or worldly freedom.

2. your purpose
What is the work you love doing, what are the moments big or small, that you know you are aligned. Has God told you, what you’re here for?
This is about creative freedom, or even karmic freedom.
Are you free to do the work, that is yours?

3. your Rock Star expansion
What is the fullest expression you are here to bring?
And what are the areas you’re playing small, as if cut off from your powers?
We investigate if in those areas, the rules you play by are yours, or society’s.
“3” is related to sexual freedom.
Like anything, it is up to you if that is part of our conversation or not.

Because all three points are just a suggestion, they offer a good framework providing one hour for every topic, to go deeper looking for answers.
But the setlist is not fixed.

I have merely built the stage for us, and we have three hours.

It is up for you to take it.

.

Instagram – Twitter – Rock Star Writer Facebook – Facebook Suzanne Beenackers Schrijver – LinkedIn

Then let the day fall by the wayside, Rock Star | 2023 06 24 The day after

Published on by Suzanne BeenackersLeave a comment

Exactly one year ago, I woke up in an elegant and fully booked hotel, or so they had warned me would be the case because even 16 months in advance, they could see coming there would be three events in and around Groningen, all in the same week.
If I wanted a room an early booking would be required and I would not get any money back if I would cancel.

The pandemic with its dramatic drop in bookings and its high rate of cancellations, had tightened the windows for anyone looking for a room, but this hotel, understandably, had really took the time to reverse engineer their methods to make sure that whatever liabilities they had been covering for, were now with their guests.

And when I arrived 16 months later, the hotel indeed had been fully booked for over half a year.

The day after, Groningen, 24 June 2022.
A hotel right next to the park of the concert location.
I woke up so unbelievably sick from having been on my feet the entire day before, and standing at the rail of a Guns N’ Roses concert the day prior.
All I could think was “never again” and “Oh God”.
I barely ate breakfast, which is saying something because I always eat huge ones, in particular in hotels.

I didn’t regret attending, because to this day I think it may have been the best day of my entire life.
But I was happy to start the journey home, feel better on my way home already, and have the rest of the afternoon and night to recover.

Thirty years prior, I had also woken up in a hotel.
The Hilton, in Rotterdam!
Next to Central Station, so it was very practical.
But this one I had not booked months in advance, because I had been saving for it, Dutch guilder by guilder, taking it from my shopping budget every week, or whenever it fell into my pocket somehow.
And when I had 360 guilder I booked the hotel, about a month prior I think. By telephone and perhaps confirming by fax.

Then too, I woke up the day after a Guns N’ Roses concert, but the mood could not have been more different.
Just like I would 30 years after, I had been on my feet the entire day, and due to logistical and a medical problem (as we learned decades later through Google!) the band had been on stage hours later, in Rotterdam, The Netherlands.
23 June 1992

Contrary to what seems to have turned into one of the unshakable truths of the 90s, Guns N’ Roses being late in Rotterdam was not antagonistic nor a statement of rebellion, nor were there issues with local authorities.
Who would actually be thanked from the stage.

The atmosphere had been amazing, but boy what a long day that was!
And just like 30 years later, the sun had shone, mercilessly, all day. But this time I had been in it, whereas standing first row will protect you from the sun because of the shadow from the stage.
In many ways 1992, had been more intense than 2022.

In 1992 I had been standing in the sun, did not have a rail to lean on, yet I had gone out to get a drink in town after arriving in the hotel and taking a shower late at night.
In the morning I was still so happy and I stayed and hung out with new people I had met the night before.

I did not head home until 2, 3 in the afternoon, and I remember being;
Exhilarated.
Thrilled.
High, but of excitement, nothing chemical.

The difference between going to Guns N’ Roses and then sleeping in a hotel, thirty years apart, could not have been more stark!

And yet both times I thought:
“Yesterday 23 June, was the best day of my life.”

And here I am, one year after waking up in Groningen.
Thirty years after waking up in Rotterdam.
One day after making an important decision.

I woke up groggy from a series of events that have been going through my mind for weeks now. And yesterday I made a very important decision.
I broke up with something, understood I had to let it go. But instead of waking up happy, I woke up feeling horrible.

And I wondered how it is possible that I feel so groggy, so sick, when I DID NOT, go to a Guns N’ Roses concert yesterday!
Was I that old?!
That I now wake up like this, for making decisions about things in my life that are no longer fitting?
Do I now get hangovers from what I would call the natural rocking, of life?

But this is my message to you, Rock Star:
These hangovers?
Whether because you drank, or because you’ve been standing in the sun, on your feet all day, or because apparently things have been bothering you like in my case?
This grogginess?
It is a good sign.

Just like me remembering to be so excited 30 years ago, unstoppable, intensely happy 30 years ago, was a good sign too.

And just like when you have sex and afterwards, when they are gone and you are alone, the emptiness, the neediness, the clinginess, smack you in the face?
It’s all a good sign.

It is a sign something amazing happened. Something moved you, something GOT to you.
And we will not always have the luxury of it being planned, and of having the day off.
But we always have the ability to notice that we feel so overtaxed, not able to eat breakfast, or lonely to the bone.  
That a big black hole is consuming us, and yet we cannot make ourselves connect because the emptiness has already made its way into our hearts.

But know, my beloved Rock Star, that it means you’re still alive.
Something amazing happened to you, as you were shaken, whether expected or taken by surprise.
You were literally rocked.
Which is so much better in so many ways, than being lulled to sleep. So much better, than living under a lie of convenient lies and a planned life.

Feeling horrible means first and foremost you have NOT lost your ability to FEEL.
You still, have your biggest asset.
Your emotions.

But having said all that?
If you can?
If you somehow do have the luxury of taking time off to integrate, to process, to feel your feelings and get a better understanding of why this one hit you so hard?

Then let this day fall by the wayside, Rock Star.

.
~Suzanne
become the Rock Star you were born to be

Then let the day fall by the wayside, Rock Star
| 2023 06 24 The day after
is the twelfth Catacombe Rock Star post
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