offer where it can happen | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today

offer where it can happen

Most of us do not create physical art, but immaterial.
And we call it a service or a business, because that makes it more trustworthy.

But we know it’s art.

The art of offering a space where others feel alive.

I just had the unexpected pleasure of visiting one of the top trucker🚚🚛 rest stops of the Netherlands:
Frans op den Bult

And coming from someone who knows absolutely nothing about trucks, but who has definitely visited quite her share of restaurants, I can say I have never encountered anything like it.

And that renaming it to:
The Frans op den Bult EXPERIENCE
would hold up.
Because I was mesmerized.

Yet technically, it was simply a restaurant, which had been accommodated to truckers.
While also doing an outstanding job of feeding hungry tourists and for a price they will not be getting anywhere else within the borders of this country.

Which has begged the question;
What is it that makes them SO alluring I treat them with theme park reverence?! 🎢🏰🎡

Now I’m not going to cover the setup for truckers but just to give you an idea:
-high drive through arches made of steel poles, and welcoming banners in their characteristic blue with white lettering
-safe parking for 160 trucks
-sanitary facilities incl showers
-best tables of the house reserved for truckers

And yes, I think what makes them so appealing is because they needed a system that served truckers.
But that the trick is it’s working like a charm for all visitors.

Because they created a system that HOLDS you.
A framework, not just literally with those high drive-through gates, but figuratively.
And you feel that.

They see you, welcome you.
But before you are allowed into the restaurant you are cleared and given a pass.

The pass literally means:
“YOU are now allowed to pass.”
You’re crossing a guarded border and entering a different world.

And that?
Is what people pay for.

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

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shame, your final reckoning | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today

shame, your final reckoning

When you’re almost there!

Confronted your most personal fears, rinsed your deepest wounds and even successfully finished your Passive Aggressiveness Combat Training, which we all know almost none of us master;

There it is.
And you can start all over again.

Shame and capitalism.

If I was in the business of giving advice to dictators, new gurus or even invading aliens looking for the best hook to implement either their nefarious or virtuous agenda (it works on both);

Or even if I was doing nothing more than writing a blogpost for one reader in 2025 or in a timeline far far away;

I would give all of them the same advice.

Study shame and capitalism, and you will have all you need to understand, infiltrate, and conquer humanity.

And although I would try not to brag, especially in the case of aliens because there is little point in inter-galactic comparison, but I don’t think I would be able to refrain from adding;
“Trust me on this”
“Thank me later”
or even:
“You’re gonna love it”

We will do everything for money.
And we will do everything to not be shamed.

Humanity has built its own mental prison, and one the majority of us are not even aware of.
Yet this framework is not just built, but also attended to and freely maintained by everybody, as we go about unconsciously living its law.

We’ve all been both victims as well as henchmen, accomplices, and to both capitalist repression as well as shaming others even when it is just by parroting values that are based on exclusion.
On not being good enough and not worthy unless.

You think you’re finally making headway with this whole enlightenment thing and there it is…

(Shame:)
“You didn’t think it was gonna be that easy, did you?”

(You:)
“You know, for a second there, yeah.
I kinda did.”*

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

*free after Kill Bill I

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you decide the rules | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today

you decide the rules

Just because everybody’s afraid of the darkness of the sea;

The razor sharp ridges
Unexplored trenches and underwater caves

Doesn’t mean that includes you.


I’m on the cusp of two incredibly big changes in my life.
One professional, one private.
And in areas that have been challenging for me in the past.

They used to come with a whole bag of unsorted emotions, but the general label was that the professional bag carried more anger and frustration, and the private one loss and sadness, but also love.

This particular professional bag was one of the oldest ones I had.
I had never chosen it, or I had but in a “this one is the lesser of all evils” kind of way.
The bag came with the promise that I didn’t need to choose yet.

Whereas the private bag was one I had chosen very deliberately, and much more recent than the professional one.
I had made great sacrifices for her, as it came at great cost.
You could say I still I am still living the consequences of insisting this luxury bag to be mine.
Would not trade it for the world though.

And now both bags have been cleaned out, figuratively speaking
– although maybe it would be cool to select two bags from my collection to represent this new phase! –
and this summer they will step into this new life with me.

And in the words of Carrie Bradshaw, I couldn’t help but wonder:
Do they still carry that same baggage? The same emotions?
Somewhere deep inside the pockets.
Sewn in, between the seams.

But although only time will tell, I don’t think so.
Can’t find any residue, they appear to be clean.

And it mirrors the mental clarity I have now.
It was never about what anyone or anything tossed inside of them.
Not about unwanted baggage.

It’s about you treating them with dignity.
Knowing them inside and out.

And in return they’ll give you their power, their secrets and their darkest sorcery.

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

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consciousness is king | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today

consciousness is king

The world has changed.
What was once true is no longer enough.
The war for our minds has intensified, and needs to be rebuilt from within.

Today.

I make it into a game.
With stories about difficult situations which I hear or read
– and I’m the first to admit my own stories and difficult situations are the last to be subjected to this. In many ways I am a rookie! –
I try to identify what the underlying cause was that lead to this.

Not to see if it could have been prevented, or whose fault it is. It is not that personal, and it has nothing to do with the human or emotional side, which is a parallel story in my mind. 

No, what I mean is that at some point, and this can be days after I have heard it, I will scan the situation from a bird’s eye perspective.
What was the underlying conflict of interest?
Who was in power?
Were they held accountable for their actions?

And what it comes down to is that there is always a lack of information.
Rarely can things be explained in a straightforward way. The motivations can only be attributed indirectly, by tracking their actions back.

So you know someone is “pushing” for a certain outcome, and pushing can mean neglect and not doing anything and waiting for it to fall apart.
But it usually stays a mystery why this is the outcome that person or party wants. 
We don’t know.
And more often than not, I have concluded that in all likeliness this person or party does not know themselves either.

So the non-dominant party does not only face the problem of being overpowered, but by a party who is acting from instinct, like a wounded animal.

We used to have a prime minister in the Netherlands, who in one of his more honest moments confessed that no one was going to give an explanation about a certain situation.

Well, newsflash!
No one ever is.

The only chance any of us ever have, is not by understanding the darkness of our enemy;
But by becoming the light, within.

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
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what you carry is sacred | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today

what you carry is sacred

The world no one sees, the history no one knows, the shapeshifting of identities like quicksilver.

Comforting emptiness where your truth once stood. A curious fox sniffing out the ruins.

A rustling sound;
Incoming ideas!

Nine times out of ten, when I want to tell someone about all the exciting things that happened, I hold back and realize there’s nothing to tell.
Because nothing actually happened.
It was all internal, or what also happens frequently, it was incredibly small.

Like I already rescued three bumblebees this year, with a nectar filled keychain I got for my birthday (beevive).
I stick a little twig in the bottle, then hold it in front of the disoriented bumblebee running around on the bike lane.
And then as they start licking it off as if their life depends on it (and it probably does) I get them to climb the twig and transport them, twig and all, to a green spot in the shade.

Even if Axl Rose from Guns N’ Roses then ran into us, blocking the lane, that day would still be more emotionally charged because of the bumblebee.
But Axl Rose would make the better story.

Recently someone asked how my life was now that I had less time for my writing.
I said it was completely doable, but being productive does knock all the creativity out of you.

Which wasn’t totally true, it was more like a worst-case scenario.
IF, I would still invest in Instagram worthy activities that actually “are something” and are cool to tell people about?
THEN my creativity would have died.

But I no longer do that.
Yet I look forward to the weekend!
It means I get to spend copious amounts of time in my inner-world.

Your gift, your creativity, your art, is the tangible, visible thing you create. Yes! 
But your real creative work, is so much vaster;
It is ALL, of what you carry inside of you.

And just showing up there and engaging, alone or with a friend or friends who share it;
That, is your work.

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
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the foundation to whatever is you | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today

the foundation to whatever is you

There isn’t anything you need to learn, acquire, get into your life, stumble upon or get past, in order to reach your goal.

You need to embody it.

I took a look if I could find a quote, I think it is from Zig Ziglar – someone I do not know anything about other than that I frequently run into their (20th century?) legacy in the form of quotes.

I remember one of the quotes being about 3 areas of life:
To be.
To have.
And to do.
But instead of Zig Ziglar the Google search brought me to an incredibly complicated (to the point of frightening) concept of:
“Auxiliary verbs”
Verbs which apparently were be, do and have.

It reminded me of why English class always made me feel my English was somewhere between poor and rudimentary.
I can only imagine how the kids who had not grown up bilingual must have felt.

However, this does unexpectedly prove my exact point in the matter!
Because auxiliary verbs?
They don’t actually do anything.

I do remember when to use have, and I HAVE USED it daily.
Or is it AM USING it daily?
Either way it’s not the simple past tense of “I used it daily”
because then it means I no longer use it.

What I also do every day is find errors like this in my writing.
In particular on Substack, where the whole post is sent out to readers.
Not just a link.
Whereas my regular blogs and posts on Instagram are very forgiving,
because I can still adjust the text and the post-with-errors is not still visible in people’s Inbox.

However!
Does it matter?

Is the quality of my writing defined by my ability to correct every auxiliary verb before I post?
No.

It’s in the person I am, the ideas I have, and in the relentless drive that pushes me to my computer every day.

Just looked up Zig Ziglar.
The Be, Do, Have philosophy is indeed his core message.

You have to BE the right kind of person first.
Then DO the right things.
And then you will HAVE what you want.

BE. Do. Have.
And in that very specific order.

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
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also, not your responsibility | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today

also, not your responsibility

Noah built the ark before the rain.
He was warned by God about the impending flood.

Imagine!
How many other emergencies and people he must have walled off to do so.

I don’t consider myself a particularly good friend. Or, without sounding self-critizising because it is a conscious choice and not a personal flaw;
I know I’m not what most people look for in a friendship.
Let’s put it like that.

Because my friendship does not include in-between communication nor any emotional labor or support unless you are specifically asking for it.
But if you ask for it?
Then I clear my schedule and we’re actually going to SOLVE the problem.
Not the emotions or feelings, but we’re going to setup whatever is required for you to tackle this.

“But” to me friendship means you make an effort to show up in good spirits, to ask for consent if you have to or want to change plans or have a proposal.
Friendship is giving each other a lot of space, and to choose your topics of conversation with care.
Whether you’re laughing together or going for depth, it’s the quality that matters.

So obviously I gave this a lot of thought, and yes, it came with sacrifices but I didn’t realize until recently that it was not so much my friendship style where I was being perhaps overly picky and fussy;
It is everything.

That concentrating on the goals you want to achieve, or like I do in my case on creating ample time to write and be creative in other ways, means you have to know precisely what is going to be on your plate.
And what isn’t.

For many people being available for their loved ones to offer ongoing support and connection, or to respond happily when an invitation comes to hang out NOW immediately, is not a problem at all.
But the spice of life.

So no judgement.

But choose.

What is so important to you, that it’s allowed to take over your life?

The very thing you’re actually here for.

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

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you can reverse a decision | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today (we’re back!)

you can reverse a decision
and for reasons no one needs to know

you don’t even need to apologize

It was to be expected that I’d cut too deep.
Even today, as I am still in this seemingly never-ending process of culling my remaining blogs, series, and YouTube channels, I am surprised that these processes can apparently go together;

Both cutting deeper.
As well as being able to say:

“I need What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today back.”

One of the lessons I am learning is that you can base a decision on pretty dense criteria, which definitely try to defy the productivity cultus;
And still get it wrong.

My criterium was:
“Where am I making something high-risk with an unknown outcome, that challenges me and makes me think Oh God I can’t do this?”

And now a couple of weeks later, I’m like:
“I miss What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today.
And I’m going to pick it up, make way simpler Canva pictures and crunch it into one Instagram length post.”

So I seized back the one series from the recycle bin that had always come easy to me, and will turn them into a spoon-fed snack-size.
The series has always come so easy to me, it has felt like cheating;
And now I was going to make it even easier.

It reminds me about the men I fall in love with. And although I like to see myself as someone who likes a wide variety of men, this is not true at all.
They are always men whom I would classify as:
Very easy to fall in love with.
Only to then go in denial for months.
It’s like I am immediately ashamed, to fall for such a man.

And this is a confession that has “so much to unpack”, but the reason I respond by drawing back immediately is because deep down I feel it means I am shallow.

When EVEN if that is true? I’m a full-grown adult.
It’s safe to assume I’m way past the point I would be able to correct on “shallow”.

So is an Instagram-length post called What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today, shallow?

Maybe!

But I’m gonna commit to them, stand by them;
And give them my heart
.

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

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embody | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today | sixth of the “Lost Posts” series | 2025 04 15 + 2023 06 30 (OG)

embody

As a performer, your body is part of your message of freedom.
The most tangible, visible, direct and urgent, part of your art.

Embody it.

original posted on my social media
30 June 2023

Retrieved, blogged, and story added at 15 April 2025

I have ended my career as a yoga teacher, and told almost no one.
The first few days I was still convinced I would trade live classes and a local (side-) business, for taking online to YouTube:
– what I have to say about yoga
– what I have to contribute
– and what I have thought for many years would be mine to newly develop as well as to preserve or document for future generations.

I was convinced I’d continue online because I can make videos during daytime, not work evenings. And three hours spent making a video would be there for the ages, whereas the three hours it takes to teach one live class is temporary.

And it did make sense, because I have both been trained by the best, as well had a career that has span over two decades;
But No.

I will never make yoga videos again either.
It’s gone, it’s done.

I do know I will one day pick up teaching, but only locally!
Teaching those live classes was right for me. Creating a legacy or contributing something to the craft or industry itself, is just not my calling.
So despite those first few days, where I thought I may end my classes, but that I was committing to creating an online legacy, I ended up really retiring my profession as a yoga teacher as a whole.

Now don’t get me wrong, the biggest reason for doing so was definitely a very practical one, cutting this chord was indeed inevitable.
I am a writer first and foremost.
Not because I want to, not because I think it’s fancy or practical. Brutally honest truth;
Being a writer, or artist in general, is incredibly lonely and isolating.
No one in their right mind would choose it, but when you are, you are.
And you deal with it.

However, this means that together with the way I make my money, I already have two professions:
The Pro-one, and the writer one.
I can’t have teaching yoga there as a fifth wheel on the wagon.

So with earning money and writing, my workweek is already overbooked.
It’s a very simple equation.

That is all true. It is all very simple!
However!
What definitely did not help, was the complicated relationship society has with our physicality.
In particular with sexuality.
And even more specifically, female sexuality.

Which has been the case for thousands of years, and is deeply embedded in patriarchic structures.
But the online space and our use of social media has taken the objectification of female bodies to the extreme.

Now more than ever, we view ourselves from how others will view us.
We are performing.

Social media accounts where you are encouraged to accept and enjoy your body instead of performing, are rare.
And this indoctrination has been going on non-stop since 2015-ish.

It seems we owe people our beauty, and our looking nice, yet we are also still not entitled to our own sexual agency.

Female sexual repression is obvious, but naturally men are also sexually repressed.
Everybody is, and this is nothing new because this has always been the case.

By the time we’re in our mid-30’s, or hit 40, we’ve completely alienated from the whole Under The Belt Section.
And this will hold until midlife, where you have a chance to blow the lit off!

A good midlife crisis can do the trick of unleashing your repressed sexuality and all the other forces you have successfully suppressed for decades.
Or that society made you suppress before you were allowed to be a “part” of society.

In order to “belong” we have to de-sexualize ourselves or be openly monogamous. 

So this was already problematic, and whether or not social media had become as dominant as it obviously has, I would have figured it out one way or another.
There would have come a day where I would have figured out it is absolutely pointless to be known as a yoga teacher, and be seen as someone who has things to say about our physical well-being, when at the same time you have to play by the rules of being a sex-less human being.
We can’t talk about health when at the same time allowing for people to be cut off from their most visceral energy source.
Which is done by culture, and it is not our individual choice.
It is the price we have all paid, to belong.

Maybe the reason I have told almost no one I quit teaching yoga, is because I feel I am now FINALLY teaching it.
After two decades, I finally have the lesson for you in its unfiltered form, which will transform your physical and mental health more than anyone doing anything on the yoga mat has ever accomplished.

Want to know what it is?

Here is my yoga for you:

You are physically free.
Including sexual sovereignty.

.

~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

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ABOUT THE LOST POST SERIES

I have been consistently posting “What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today” for a while now.
Starting June 2023, they found their final form as blogposts here on the Catacombe blog, pretty quickly.

But I’ve always been aware there were singular posts/ borderline poetry, still on social media, floating somewhere down my timeline.

Some at the beginning when I did not know what this series would be.
Some around the time in October/November 2023, when I lost access to this site.
And then a few in between.

And in addition to that there are the ones I did post on the blog, but whose stories revolve around things I no longer offer.
I will retrieve those too;
And give them a new story, that has the timeless quality they deserve.

 

Catacombe is email-list free!!

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But no additional or promotional emails are sent – just the blog, sec.

Catacombe’s other series “Rock Star Take On”
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NEW founded in MAY 2024: SUBSTACK

your art does not share power | What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today 2025 04 01

your art does not share power

As soon as you picked up that brush, or once you were lured into the depths of your own mind
– captivated, like Alice in Wonderland – 
you were gifted the power that goes with it.

Which can be wielded in any and all areas, and used for ruthless pursuit of any goal.

Yet it never changed hands.

I made a decision yesterday. And although the consequences will ripple into all areas of my life, and echo for decades to come, the origins were quite abstract, really.

It was the realization that you cannot un-artist yourself.
Once you’re in, there is no way back.
You can label yourself differently, run away from it, and you’re welcome to try stop creating art! 
Can it be done?
Yes it can! 
But that is not counting the destruction you will bring upon yourself and others. The self-hate, the aggression, and perhaps even depression.
I don’t know how the mind works, but to me (a layman) I’m guessing Art will be too extrovert to let you quietly be consumed by your own thoughts.
I think there will be a little bit more of a spectacle, once you try to stop creating  art.

But I can understand why you would try though. To stop it.
Because w
ho doesn’t have better more productive things to do?

Who would not choose a life in service, a life of meaning, a life of productivity, a scheduled life that would lead to predictable, meandering days and a little touch of contained adventure, just enough to excite you within convenient time windows?

We all would, of course we would.

Point is, you looked.
Went through the looking glass.
Down the rabbit hole.
Into the fire.
And you not just liked it;

You knew everything that was not this, was a lie.

And you know what?
That’s because it is.

Once you have exposed yourself to this level of reality, you have been one with The Force. In Star Wars terms. You’ve seen God. You were blessed with power and purpose, but also cursed because you cannot go back anymore.
It is done, it was done.
No more normal for you.

You have to let this demon, this Force, or God itself come OUT of you, and let it unfold, unravel, unleash what it clearly wants to bring through your hands.

And do we have to worry about its divine versus diabolical origins?
Probably!
But first off, whatever it was you encountered on the other side, it captivated you. It won your heart. You’re head over heels in love with her, him, them, Art, and you loved the idea of being in its presence every day.
You were unbothered by worldly acclaim, nor thought how to monetize it. All you wanted, in that moment of creative flow, was to be consumed by it.

If you could convey even 1% of that magnificent feeling, to other people, would you not say that is divinity in itself?
To lighten the burden of our humanness by sharing what you are obviously here to create, I’d say that’s worth the risk of having been an instrument of the devil.

But if you want to be sure, you could add a prayer. An intention. Something like:

“I bless my art to be for the highest good.
May it bring happiness and peace.”

I once heard a sermon, related to this.
A story in the bible.
And I am nor a religious person, nor do I know if it translates to English, but in Dutch I have heard it say that the word talent, meant money.
And to waste your talents, was a sin. Meaning: To waste money, but also to waste what you were given.

Now, just to be clear here! This message is not for everyone! If creating  art is something you can also not do?
And without becoming an intolerable human being?
Then you are ALSO blessed!
Because then you actually have a choice how you want to spend your life! 
Oh the envy you will get from us, trust me on this.
If writer’s block came in a bottle, I’d pay good money for it!

But if your creative genie has come out of the bottle, then there really is no way to put it back in. Your TALENTS, cannot be put back to wherever it was you caught them. Or they you.

They’re here, your talents.
And they still serve the master from behind the veil.

A little friendly advice?
I suggest you use them.

And as often, as thoroughly, as intensely, as symbiotically, as deeply, and as creatively as you possibly know how.
And then some.
All day, every day, in whatever shape or form you see fit.

Because these are not gifts you want to be called out for, having denied or wasted them.

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

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NEW founded in MAY 2024: SUBSTACK