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give us something real

We don’t care for the polished, the post-productioned, the copy-edited and the filter that took a decade off your face.

Show us the nitty gritty.

—

For years, yes, actual years (I know you probably won’t believe me) I’ve struggled publishing a book that will be my magnum opus.
I did not write it under this name, so I probably should not even tell you this because it’s secretive, not transparent, and then the status of what you should be doing with this information becomes unclear as well.
The point, Rock Star.
The point!

You, reading advice from someone telling only half a story?
That’s the kind of messy not-fitted-for-your-brand randomness we’re craving to see from you.

As I was saying, for years now, I’m struggling with this book.
And it’s tempting to suggest it’s the psychological weight of it, because it’s about a man who broke up with me years ago.
But No!
I’m simply really bad at copy editing, and at getting big projects like this done.

I don’t have a mold for it, and it took me a decade after I started writing, before I had my first book in print.

And nothing changed as I’m still terribly slow and I have dropped this project so often I could cry if I think about all the lost time.
It’s probably even barricading my love life to have this unfinished manuscript blocking anything that wants to come in.

But want to know my biggest mistake?
This whole idea of copy-editing, this slow as a snail process I am making myself go through.

Embarrassed, every time I find errors.
And I find a lot.
And I find them again when after 3 years I look at the first chapter which has already been edited six times prior.

It’s like pulling teeth!!!
PERFECTLY GOOD TEETH

Because that creepy sketch you drew drunk in the middle of the night?

That photo you took, when your lens broke down because it had sand in it?

The diary with all the random entries?

Give. It. To. Us. 

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

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your vision board speaks

From the thoughts endlessly mulled over and chewed on
To the unsatisfactory photo where the model didn’t have your hair color
And the random clippings that had a pleasant aesthetic and were (you were sure of this!) without meaning

Your inner-world craft a spell of them.
—

I saw it from the corner of my eye.

The laminated A4 had been used as the backcover to a binder I used to collect my most important blogs in.
Posts I did not want to forget.

Until there were so many of them that even the biggest ring I had for my binding machine, could no longer hold them.
I started a new volume and archived this one on the shelves next to my window.

And as I looked out the window contemplating what I would write today, I saw the old vision board.
Holding on to years of my most important blogs for me.
Which of course, I all forgot.

I took it off the shelves and my eyes went over the landscape A4 of the collage, and wondered what year it was from.
Because my dreams had always been the same.
My role models were unchanging, although every five to ten years or so a new one could be added.
The collage depicted both pictures of me as well as different female stars, all representing different areas of my life.
And pictures of male stars, sometimes together with a woman, representing the men in my life and then the woman represented me.

All of this was eternal.

Yet where I had tried to be specific in what I wanted, I had failed to achieve it.

On the inside of the back cover, so the back of the vision board, I had made a complementary blueprint of how to become that woman on the vision board.
It has blogs and channels and ideas on it, I dropped ages ago.

Signed on the day this quest would begin:
Independence Day 2021

As if my dreams required a battle plan in order to be conquered.

But on the front, every photo with every woman;
Still me.

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

Subscribe to receive
What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today
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offers for Rock Stars
📍📡🖤-> https://catacombenijmegen.com/current-offer/
+ a new in person offer: 
Walk of FAME 

.

Catacombe is email-list free!!

Yes – you can subscribe to receive new blogposts;
But no additional or promotional emails are sent – just the blog, sec.

Instagram – Twitter – Rock Star Writer Facebook – Facebook Suzanne Beenackers Schrijver – LinkedIn

the work is done for you

Whether you post every day or never, regardless of the type of art you make or “even” when you “just” do you and feel creatively aligned that way;
It’s all exactly as it should be.

It’s the story you are here to tell.
—

Over the past nine months I have witnessed my creativity shrink from doing whatever I wanted to being chained to a meticulously orchestrated content planner, making optimal use of my limited time.

Creativity had to give, because I needed more space for other things.
It was a long and strenuous process, but ultimately I hacked it.

And now that I have it all contained and timeboxed, I am surprised by how much I like it.
Unexpectedly, this planning has turned out to be a huge success.
It’s such a relief to no longer be writing by the seat of my pants.
This feels much more gentle and luxurious, like a spa.

But it does make me wonder, how is this possible?

How can someone who always allowed herself to spill the story the moment it was hot and needed to be told with urgency, how can I trade that for becoming the train conductor version, writing pieces scheduled days in advance;
And not miss any of it?

Am I even still an artist now that I run a content production line?

But the strange thing is, my videos and posts appear to have gotten better.
There is no loss of spontaneity or dullness or anything.

And I’m more consistent.
I’ve cherry picked the easiest pieces, and dropped all items that take 5 hours. Without knowing how to ever put them back into my schedule, so there was a price.

But overall, yeah!
Love it!

But then I realized that the reason I feel it’s “all” still there, is because the essence of our work and our message is never ours to begin with.
It is given.

What you call your work, is actually handed to you, by purpose, from calling,  or by some invisible Force.

Whether you have 8 hours or 2 to create a piece?
It is all the same to them.

.
~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

Subscribe to receive
What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today
in your Inbox.

offers for Rock Stars
📍📡🖤-> https://catacombenijmegen.com/current-offer/
+ a new in person offer: 
Walk of FAME 

.

Catacombe is email-list free!!

Yes – you can subscribe to receive new blogposts;
But no additional or promotional emails are sent – just the blog, sec.

Instagram – Twitter – Rock Star Writer Facebook – Facebook Suzanne Beenackers Schrijver – LinkedIn

bargain a better deal 

The danger is never in overpaying for things you really want;
It’s in giving your time, attention and emotional labor, where no agreement was ever made.

—

“Hell, it’s everywhere, isn’t it?!”
I have no idea if I have actually said this out loud, but I’ve thought it.

Because the bad news is that once you have transformed one area of your life, stripped down all layers of socially conditioned paint and veneer
– but not before testing it for lead!
Because you know very well the majority dates from before the 70s when they took this toxic ingredient out-
– the lead-reference serving not just as an instruction to refurbish your vintage furniture, but also a metaphor of the most toxic ingredients being taken out of social conditioning in the 70s-
– just saying!-
And you repair all the damaged wood, and pamper it with oil or wax and new coloring, and you’re just so proud when that whole area of your life is finally shining as a one of a kind original!

When?
Oh no….fuck…..
Yes, Rock Star.
A whole different area of your life falling apart.

With that little corner piece shining bold and bright, it is suddenly painfully obvious how bland, old, out-of-use and dangerously unattended to other parts of your life are.

Absolute relics, and from a life you cannot remember ever agreeing to.

Once you redo one area of your life, you will find all other areas are like brown, mid- 20th century furniture with lead paint and BROKEN LOCKS (this was again a metaphor), dusting away in your basement or shed.
Meaning taking up space in the margins of your life, where other people dumped them, or you took them on board without questioning.

And now they’re…..there.

Want to know who put them there?
Throw out those beliefs on who you owe whatever, or on what was right and wrong in 1953, and find out.

The ones who object to you throwing it out;
They, put them there.

~Suzanne Beenackers
Catacombe
become the Rock Star you were born to be

Subscribe to receive
What Do Rock Stars Need To Hear Today
in your Inbox.

offers for Rock Stars
📍📡🖤-> https://catacombenijmegen.com/current-offer/
+ a new in person offer: 
Walk of FAME 

.

Catacombe is email-list free!!

Yes – you can subscribe to receive new blogposts;
But no additional or promotional emails are sent – just the blog, sec.

Instagram – Twitter – Rock Star Writer Facebook – Facebook Suzanne Beenackers Schrijver – LinkedIn